i miss the days where things weren’t so complicated..where we don’t worry about things.
just contented with what life’s got to offer
enjoying simple things like.. pigging out in the house
enjoy watching movies or television programs.. hanging out with friends now.. everything seems so different.
yes we get to eat different kinds of food.. and watch different movies, dramas etc..
but isn’t it all the same? i’m feeling lost and empty
these days..i get tired of many things. why are we really in this world? why are we here?
why do we have to think of others perception at us?
when we all just wanted to do is to do what we want.. and experience many things..
why do people.. think of success as being just wealthy and attain high education.. be the best.. be the at the top.. be number one.. be an achiever.. win awards.. earn points.. impress people.. fit in
if im happy with what im doing isn’t that enough?

i need to reconstruct myself and..
be in love again with the awesome world God gave us.
in the end life is a wonderful gift for us..
no matter how hard it is to live life the way we want it..

after 1 year, i hope i can do the thing i wanted the most…
to live in the world.. experiencing all kinds of music of life ^^

see you later„ rhazell jessica ^^
np: iu - raindrop
while its raining. 아 진짜 좋다~

after watching big bang alive galaxy tour.. i just realized how far they are. the gap between us.how our world seems so near yet so far.
different world that may never collide. the only way is to enter their world and that seems fatal. i really dream of become a singer there but will i ever make it?? my vision is not vivid.

i couldnt believe i would be able to see them. we arrived at edsa shangrila to do some stalking.. around 11am.

there was hwangssabu, kwon twins.. and other dancers. in the pool area we pretended we were not fans.. we took picture of them secretly like we were doing a fake selca but actually we taking pictures of them  kkkk

but deukki looked at are direction.. PS. EYE CONTACT!!! he looks directly in the eyes… around 3 times!!! *melts*

but it was also a pity…we pretended we are not fangirls we should have taken a picture with them..:((

we wandered around the hotel ..to keep our identity low.. because we thought. security would. shove fangirls away..

when we came back the pool area, omg… i saw taeyang swimming!!!!!!!!!!
my heart screamed.. but i kept calm.. and my friends told me there was also dae.. but i cant see him…
then finally i saw him.. when we sat down on the chair.. near the pool area…

we stayed there… like we were watching a movie… looking at their naked upper bodies. kkkk for free. hahah!!! yb was a total killer.. he was so cute!!! and fun.. dae.. acts like a child which was so adorable..

then the silent crowd.. became too overcrowded.. and heated up when.. gdragon… suddenly made a swagging entrance!!!!!!!!!!
swagger baby. the way he walked down the stairs was just priceless

then OMG.. he took his shirt of like when he was performing on stage.. ahahha and he was like just wearing a boxer… too short!!!  yb,dae and dancers..are wearing board shorts. kk and gd really an attention seeker..

gd tried to drown dae in the pool..
 but in an interview he said.. he would save dae first when.. big bang members are drowning. kkkkkk

all of the securities’ attention were at gd,yb and dae..kwon twins,psj and other dancers can freely… swim and walk around

my friend is a deukki fans..
so when all eyes are on GD
deukki and 2 of his friends went to smoke a cigar..

good thing the ashtray was behind us~~~!!!!!!!!!
deukki & friends.. went behind us.. and smoke.. haha my friend almost died.. inside..

deukki and friends.. went to the table near us… left side.. standing.. omg. deukki is behind my back.. HAHHAA all i can say is HEAVEN..

can you believe it.. ?? kk

yb and dae.. went up to their rooms already after eating..
gd was the last to go up..

the crowd… cooled down.. some fangirls went home already.. but we stayed..

 i was still hoping to see my baby panda seungri T.T T.T no glimpse of him ..i wanted to cry..
my friends bias is TOP and still no glimpse of TABI…

my friends and i went to eat .. because we haven’t eaten lunch and its.. 4:30 now.. so we went to edsa shangrila plaza to eat..

my friends and i still hoped to see our biases SEUNGRI and TOP
so we still stayed at the hotel.

in the pool area .. yg female dancers were swimming..
then .. deukki suddenly out of nowhere.. came out.. holding flower..

sooo we thought~ OMG HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND???? my friend panicked kk because he liked deukki hehehe but in the end..

it was just the birthday celebration of the girl.. dance crew.. kkk

we.. left the hotel.. around 10:30pm.. dara arrived at the hotel. but i didn’t get to see her.. but my friend. seen her.. ive seen dara already so its okay ^^
no glimpse of ri and tabi.. ><

i just learned.. that ri spent his whole day inside his room updating his seungchan diary huhuhuuuhuuuuuu. i haven’t seen him upclose..

I LOVE YOU PANDA EYES RI.
5 years and on going kkkk ^^

all i see are lies.

i do really wonder why am i so different at school.
i am so quiet and non responsive
to say it in one word
am i aloof?
im usually really energetic, goofy and a dork
but why?
skeptic at things.. awkward with people.
i have this side of me.. ㅋㅋ
is this personality crisis?

hahaha this is real crazzzzzyyyy